Sippin' on some Kalezurrp.

I've been on my green juice diet for 5 days now and I wanna reflect on my experience. 

The first few days were very kind to me as I felt mellow, energized, and hyped that I'm getting brand new. I woke up and downed a large cup of lemon water to compensate for the Foldgers in my cup and I Zumba'd and did toning exercise afterwards. Then I got ready for grindmode for 8 hours. Surprisingly in 3 days, I had enough energy to exercise and my hunger was unnoticed. However, when shits too good to be true, Hell welcomes you with open arms.

On the 4th and 5th day, I started to miss food. This was triggered by many factors: my nurses daily lunch delivered by a hearty food truck, my Yelp researches for my birthday dinner plans, my Ice Cream Social activity in which I had to serve folks up with sundaes and my Love's natural need to eat a fucking drippy cheesy meaty overstuffed Great Steak sandwich while I had a cold cup of nothing. Luckily, I have wonderful Family & Friends that support my goal by leaving motivational messages as if they were watching me run a marathon. Oh and THANK GOD for Extra Dessert Gum! Root Beer and Mint Chip are my faves.

Six mo' days left of this shit and then I gets to EAT. Luckily it'll be on the day of my Sister's rehearsal for her wedding in Tahoe. Can't wait for her Wedding but more importantly, I can't wait to grub. Just joking fools. Her day is worth Hunger Games. 

Music Therapy: "Sippin on Some Sizzzurp" 3 6 Mafia-"I'm trill working the wheel, a pimp not a simp. Keep the dope fiends higher than the Goodyear Blimp.

We eat so many shrimp, I got iodine poisoning."

Rest in Paradise Pimp C.  

Go Hard or Go Home.

I'm gonna straight up juice starting today until my Sister's wedding (11 days) so take this as a fair warning. Side effects include Captain Bitch, depression, food obsession, zombie mode, hatred for beings that chew food along with friends that post pictures of their food. Imma be the bitch that kills your vibe. 

The longest that I've completed a straight juice fast was 4 days and honestly, I felt a mixture of intense calmness while experiencing an amazing detox that filtered trash from my state of mind. Although these sound positive, I'm madd weary of juicing for over 10 days like an addict feels entering rehab. I'm gonna have to dodge simple pleasures of cold brews, sodium rich carbohydrates, string cheese, and protein errthang. FML. Wish me luck and I'll journalize my experience to help me process my juicing drank in my cup.

Music Therapy: Goapele "Undertow"- "But I'm not ready to go.

About to ride that wave, Got me in your zone. Caught up in that undertow,

Baby you already know,

I know I should leave

But something won't let go." 

The Day My God Died. 07.13.03

How does a decade feel like last night? My heart still aches and I hold back tears from the pain of missing my father. I deal with it in healthier ways nowadays and I am thankful that my binge alcoholic habit has been killed and I'll toast to kale juice instead. I hold memories of my dad's morals, sayings, temperament reactions as I bleed my dads traits and I do the right thing as he'd want me to. That's the only way he's still a part of my life. 10 years ago at his workplace memorial, I was overwhelmed by the caring support from kind strangers. One lady had a moment with me and told me that even though he's not here, I can still be strong and do good for my life and make him proud of that. I took her advice and my spirit ran and ran and continues to run the infinite marathon of life. I'm not sure how different my life as just Amy would have evolved...would I have finished college? Would I still be friends with my enemies? Would my cynicism still exist? Over the years since my dad left, I've built the will to go hard all day. And its my experience with losing my family that drives me to climb. So even though I do wonder the "what if's", it makes sense that the universe has conspired for me to go through some Kite Runner shit and enforce the lessons that transformed me into a person that does not take shit for granted.

Psychology has suggested that girls like guys that share similar attributes to their fathers. I think that some of that is true and that some of the guys I dated were just stretch marks to their mothers' bodies. Luckily I found my love and I know my dad approves. He's my Space Oddity, hero, best friend and lifeline, like my dad. He respects me and values me as his rarity. My dad would have been happy for me. And though I'll always mourn my loss as faded pictures & memories are a constant, I will abide to the promise made for my father on the day he was called home.

My life Started from the bottom and I'm still here.

Taken Back.

I miss the Dave Chappelle days when Lil Jon was "OKAY" and Wu Tang diversified bonds. Its seem like nowadays, reality is a broken record and Avatar has caused a blue 3D pandemic. Gross. The Celtics lost and weaksauce Kobe Beef will never be well done like Jordan. I got love for Rondo and I want to Thank Drake now, not Later for the earcandy. Uncertainties surprisingly don't cause worries this time and excepting was hard but now feels so cool. Tomorrow will be tomorrow unless you refuse to leave your abode, so sweat shit out. Luckily, I can rewind and press play to watch yellow cake...don't drop that shit! Pizzease.

Music Therapy: "Thank Me Now" by Drake: "I'm feeling like Nas who am I to disagree, they say that doors open up as soon as you find the missing key. It's probaly why I'm in this bitch shining, jump up in the sky and put the stars into alignment."

G.T.L...Gym, Tan & Living.

Been away like Tiger Wood's wife but feeling like a kid who went to Disneyland. I've been around so many positive people this year that I forgot how the blues feel...If you think about it, green & yellow (blue + yellow = green), which are the colors of jealously and cowardice, all the little things that haters are made up of. But as haters keep stagnant fresh, I still rise, I get inspired, and I keep it real.

One of the beautiful things in the world is Mother Nature. She's calm, welcoming, moody yet inspiring, historic, muse worthy, and traditional. I got the opportunity in March to wander with my GPS and makeshift walking stick through Yosemite for the first time in my life with amazing company and a perfect weather forecast. We visited Bridalveil Fall, a cascade of natural purity that showered the bouldering enviroment into a slip-n-slide (I got to slide down a rock!). The myth behind Bridalveil fall is that inhaling the mist would improve one's chances of marriage, hence the name. We also visited the visitor's center in Yosemite because its what you're suppose to do, and we cultured ourselves in Native American history, its culture and its importance for humility and respect for the Earth's Spirit. My favorite artifact there was a teepee made out of wood as it allowed me to image myself as a mere individual.

After that manditory visit, we found our way to Half Dome, in which Native American legend explains its creation through domestic violence...a young married couple was arguing, the wife throws a basket of acorns (I prefer throwing my cell phone) at her husband as he was chasing after her. The gods, as a punishment, turned them into stone. The husband became North Dome, the basket became Basket Dome, and the wife became Half Dome. Cool huh?!?

But the BESTEST part of this blissful trip was when we hiked through a trail that had tunnel trees, a rooty enigma. Just in a flash, the seasons changed from Spring to Winter as we sloshed our shoes against icy cement like snow, trying to avoid slips, knee scrubs and the disolving light of the setting Sun. I felt like I was with real Stand By Me Gs...we stuck together with our walking sticks, and used each of our determination to fuel our energy and perserverance to make it out of that bitch in one piece before nightfall. Inhale cold air. Exhale colder air. The trail seemed endless like when your car gets stuck in the middle of nowhere and you gotta walk the road to find help. Luckily, we made it right when our shadows faded into the snow and when the Big Dipper was arriving. And we celebrated with mini burgers, Tofurkey dogs, Castle and Heineken beers, Jello Shots with OJ, and a great game of King's Jenga.

This Yosemite trip awed me. From the pimp ass Cabin for lodging, the devoted friends that we met up who waited hours for our arrival, Mother Nature's beauty, and the disconnect from the City's grind. I finally got the jumpstart much needed to get back on the healthy "do you" tip. I now run Kezar with my fresh grape Nike Frees, reap its benefit of having a terra cotta complexion, and enjoy the scenic contrast of urban and park life. It drives me to drive daily to the stadium to challenge my physical tenacity. And I love it.

As this year so far has showered me with trips to Yose, Disneyland to pay tribute to Michael Jackson's "Captian EO", Venice Beach, and Vegas with my down ass bitches, I consider 2010 my bucket list year...I met the muthafuckin Jabbawockeez, almost ran over the Kardashians, and enjoyed live performances from Pharell and Common. My wedding date has been officially set. And I still have 99 problems but fake bitches ain't one. These experiences keep on reminding me to HELLA reject mediocrity. Let's Ride. Pizzease.

Rainy Random Ramblings.

Now can you say "Toy Boat" 10 times fast? Hard. Well, fuck the rain. Where I live, the sounds of slippery wet gravel surfaced streets, and rubber tires are the background noise that sends my mind a go-go. I usually like to reflect on my tipping points but today's melancholic soliloquy will just be typed-out true revelations. SO, if you can't handle it, then leave Earth muthafucka. Now to get down.

I've been through my worst and my lowest points and now I shine. I earned every penny in my name and never backstabbed my girls and family. All I care about is honoring and respecting my dad and S.K. Only heaven knows. And only those who mind matter.

Fuck fake bitches. And yes, its plural. All they do is run fake verbal game to REAL people and then revert to their plain jane, copy cat, caddy, High School Musical, unoriginal swagger jacking boring-ass ways. Not even the magic from Magic Mike can save them hoes. Also, "Guys" are bitches with a dick (where?) too. Just be about your word instead of hiding behind facades. Nuff said.

Once you cut out the fakeness, the shallow, the lames, the weakest links, and the reality-tv aficionados, you can finally breathe.

Your health during your midlife crisis is gonna send you to the ER if you mistreat your temple. Thank goodness my moms has dodged dialysis. Although I have a very dysfunctional relationship based on my childhood, I will always do the right and honorable thing.

Neoteny should also include the evolution of behavioral growth...Master's Thesis?

Vibes, people's mood, their energy, and ulterior motives will determine whether its worth kickin it.

My girls have never let me down, even when I am sooo gone. I will do the same and will continue that habit.

When you tell one person all the secrets of another person and then become BFFs with the person you threw under the bus, then you'll get caught up. For instance (REAL TALK), bustin out that someone wishes she met a guy before her current boyfriend, agreeing that "she'd smash the homies", and blatantly expressing "she's not a good person"...Playing both sides will leave you with a hurt side.

Show gratuity through actions, don't just claim to feel it.

Everything is all only one's perception...Just because you think something is fly, it doesn't deem as true for the masses. Everyone percieves things uniquely, so being bragadocious is a waste.

Horoscopes have a degree of truth. The stars not only illuminate the night sky, but cosmic prophecies own a bit a history.

Realize and research your "Past Life". Personal characteristic traits, deep interests, your bond with your spirit, the inheritance of your relatives personalities, and the circle of people you gravitate towards are symbolizations of who you might have been in the past. From knowing, it can potentially bring out your best to shut hoes down. But don't quote me...its my interpretation.

These are just some things that rummage through my mind whenever I contemplate on random shit...I'm gonna dead the juvenile mentalites by letting the wind blow it away. In a week, I'll visit one of nature's precious parks. Can't wait to enjoy it with my favorite people, surrounded by vast amounts of serenity. Pizzease.

Music Therapy: "Drop the World" by Weezy: "I got ice in my veins, blood in my eyes. Hate in my heart, Love on my mind."

When Smart Went CrrrCrrrCrrazy.

I've been avoiding my blog for several muthafuckin weeks. Creatively and energetically rained in. Consumed with an unidentifiably pursuitable ambition...Yet I still remain so fly. Reflections are the motives that hold my umbrella ella up-over my headaches. And my main man professes his fortune cookie philosphies that insightfully persuade me. So now I got my Scarface back, as all I have is my words & my balls. Let the Tupac in lotus form bloom and fade out the complacent mannerisms and demeanors. Its a never ending struggle and the battle will always surface...However, the manageble part is laying low and doing you, while the world still turns without progression and transformation.
So far, its been an interesting new year...I vented with the pen is deadlier than the sword and sinned in Sin City, where I met the mothafuckin Jabbawockeez...those guys are sooo swaggaliciously awesome and personable cool. My fam bam has been all gravy too...reunited with my cuzzos and my sista from anotha mother. And as for friends, my homies and my girls still hold me down in their own individual ways of our bond. No complaints there. The only thing I demand is that the world should stop fuckin with my girls and please give them a break...it hurts me to see my girls hurting from life's terrible tribulations.
As I slowly start my enigmatic New Year's reSOULution, I feel that my own pace, patience, and maintaining my ability to delay gratification, will eventually take me to my soul assurance. All that I hope for is Mr. Groundhog's emergence from his burrow so that the warm beams of the Sun can brighten up the gloomy storm. I've gotten over my uncomfortability and now I can write my thoughts and poetic justices. Pizzease!

Music Therapy: "Lights Please" by J.Cole: "The more I grow, the more y'all seem to stay the same...Don't even know the rules but yet y'all tryna play the game"